Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Watch Yourself

From moment to moment, if one thing can be maintained, we will watch our lives take on a very different tone. It will be a much lighter feeling than the usual serious nature. Even if you never took life too serious to begin with, you will gain an understanding as to why. This one thing to be done from moment to moment is to watch yourself.

"Watch yourself," has less to do with keeping track of how you look. It has much more to do with observing your being. Observe the way you are being. This means what you are focused on, what you are feeling, what you are thinking, who you think you are, and if you remember who you are behind it all.

This is watching of yourself will bring about a separation in who you think you are and who you know you are. You will realize that you are not the passing thoughts and feelings, but that you are what allow those thoughts and feelings to exist. You are not simply a character in the show, but the stage on which the show presents itself. You are more like the screen on which the movie plays as opposed to an actor in the movie.

There is a lot of power and freedom in recognizing the responsibility you have in putting the whole experience together. Even the way you choose to respond to it affects what comes next.

Watch yourself. It will only be a dull show if you want it to be. And you can make every moment a happier one if you choose to. The hardest part is to maintain this observant stance on your being. But it gets easier with practice.

Related posts:

Money Can't Buy It

There are a lot of rich people who are not happy. Don't take my word for it. You have seen them for yourself. The news or the tabloids are usually always talking about some high profile case or another. This is mentioned to validate one point. Money can't buy happiness.

Of course, this is a very old saying. It has stuck around for so long because of the undeniable truth it represents. In the past I, myself, have questioned the validity of this saying. I used to think, "If I had all the money I wanted, there is no way I could possibly be unhappy." I later came to realize the ultimate truth behind it though.

This truth goes for more than just money. It goes for everything that you desire in life. It is not what you want that makes you happy when you get it. It is how you feel when you are experiencing it. It really all starts and ends with how you feel.

A man can have nine figures in his bank account and still be bent out of shape about a relationship or some other problem that money does not solve. Another man can be one pay check away from being penniless and feel like he's on top of the world.

This intangible feeling is why they say, "The best things in life are free." Money really can't buy this feeling. It is only accomplished by being in total acceptance of reality. When you can say YES to everything in your present moment; you have no choice but to be happy.

Though money can't buy happiness; happiness might get you paid. Happiness actually attracts money. Take a good look at life and see if you agree.

Related posts:
C.R.E.A.M.
Success
Feel Like a Million Bucks
What Is Money? Really

The Logic of Acceptance

Acceptance is a major life changing perspective and can be used as a tool to dramatically increase the value of your life right now. Regardless of your views on life, religion, science, philosophy, cultures, politics, or any other possible topic, you have almost no choice but to agree to the logic of acceptance. Check it out.

positive + positive = positive (+ and + = +)
Say yes to the yes...... in your perspective and you will enjoy life.

negative + negative = positive ( - and - = +)
Say no to the no...... in your perspective and you will enjoy life.

This is allowance of life situations. This is acceptance. This is adaptation. This is the root of happiness.

positive + negative = negative (+ and - = -)
Say yes to the no...... and in life you will feel pain or stress.

negative + positive = negative (- and + = -)
Say no to the yes...... and in life you will feel pain or stress.

From the teachings of Buddha to your nearest psychologist, it is agreed that the key to peace and happiness in life is to be in acceptance and not resistance to what is. Suffering is indeed a state of mind; and if you can change your mind (train your mind), then you can change your life experience.

This logic is true, mathematically, philosophically, and most importantly, it is true to your experience of life.

There's Only One













There's only one power.
There's only one force.
There's only one flow.
There's only one reality that
becomes your one experience.
There's only one NOW.

Is it your friend? Are you cool with it? Are you good with it?
Or is it stressing you out?

Make it your friend.
Enjoy the ride.

You ARE the ONE.

Synthesize Happiness

This post is a follow up to the previous post "Good Times."

It is a talk given by Dan Gilbert, author of "Stumbling on Happiness". He challenges the idea that we’ll be miserable if we don’t get what we want. It fits in perfectly as a great illustration of the way we interact with or actually create the way we feel about reality.

Check it out:
Dan Gilbert asks, 'Why are we happy?'

Good Times

Good times. We've all had them. Some people more than others, but we've all had at least a glimpse of them. Individually, we all might have different situations and circumstances that we might give the label of 'good times,' but that's where the differences end.

Amazingly, but not surprisingly, everyone alive has the exact same view or feeling when it comes to having a good time. We all share and contribute a feeling of acceptance (joy, gratitude, enthusiasm, relief, appreciation, bliss, ecstasy, peace, or any combination of these) to whatever the situation or circumstance is.

The very definition of 'good times' are when you are in high acceptance of what is. It is not possible to have good times with out the special ingredient of this perspective.

Looking at this fact with the analytical, logical, and deductive reasoning skills of a scientist breaking down a compound to isolate and identify a single element; we may realize that an attitude of acceptance is the common denominator in every single person's experience of 'good times.' We may see that it is because we add this single ingredient of acceptance to a life situation that 'good times' occur. We could then successfully conclude that we can create 'good times' whenever we want by adding high degrees of acceptance to a life situation. We can effectively synthesis 'good times!' We can create 'good times' whenever we want!

Of course it works on paper and sounds real nice, but does it actually work? Is it all just hype and hypothesis? Don't take my word for it. Think about your own life experiences and see if it holds up.
  • During your best life experiences, what was your attitude toward the situation like?
  • Even right now, if you picture a scenario of something you want to happen happening, what is your attitude like toward that?
  • Can you even imagine a situation where you are not in acceptance making you feel good?
Good times. The best memories in your life are often very vivid. You can so easily recall the sights, sounds, smells, what you felt like, and what was going on. It is at times like these that you might feel more alive and your awareness or senses are heightened. Of course it makes for a more vivid memory, but why does this happen? It is because in a high mode of acceptance, the regular mind chatter slows or ceases and your feeling of being in the moment, being alive, and sensing everything comes to the forefront of your consciousness. Good times only happen in the present moment.

You can be in high acceptance at will. You can have 'good times' at will. It might not be easy at first, but it definitely gets easier with practice.

Let the good times roll.

Wearing Attachments

Imagine having a very stylish jacket with one very irritating feature. This one thing (one stress causing attribute) is that the jacket is full of little grappling hooks (just like the one in the picture).

The only thing that gets caught in the hooks of the jacket are ideas and concepts. Not every and any idea. Only the ones that you identify with to the point of confusing them with your very identity. In other words, ideas like race, culture, religion, nationality, status, and the like, are the types of things that get caught in theses hooks. These ideas are the kind people more often than not, confuse with their very identity.

Whatever gets caught in the hooks, will be defended by the person wearing them as if they were defending their very lives. As a result, these attachments will inevitably bring pain and suffering to the wearer. When the ideas are questioned, threatened, disproved, or shown to be irrelevant, great amounts of stress are experienced by the person attached to them.

On the road of life, these attachments we wear often bog us down and get snagged on other things along the way. They can be looked at as both a gift and a curse though. When we are aware of these facts, they are a gift in that they are excellent reminders and can help us measure how attached we are to certain things in our lives. When we are unaware of them, they are the cause of an endless stream of stress. Paradoxically, this stream of stress will help us become aware of attachments and put an end to the cycle. In either case, these hindrances to our peace of mind only help us to move closer toward that peace once recognized.

A big attachment (like a romantic relationship or a source of money) can sometimes work as a wake up call once the hook it hangs on comes under pressure. It's like the attachment gets snagged on an immovable object. Either you get stuck where you are along with this outdated idea and suffer from the lack of progress you are making or suffer the temporary growing pain of freeing yourself of the idea and move on.

Accepting attachments in order to free yourself of them is a process I am becoming more familiar with and starting to get really good at. I was blessed with certain life situations that helped me realize I had some attachments left when I thought I had none. At first, it seemed like a curse. Stepping back a bit, it is easy to see the gift I have been given.

The Logic of Acceptance

Acceptance is a major life changing perspective and can be used as a tool to dramatically increase the value of your life right now. Regardless of your views on life, religion, science, philosophy, cultures, politics, or any other possible topic, you have almost no choice but to agree to the logic of acceptance. Check it out.

positive + positive = positive (+ and + = +)
Say yes to the yes...... in your perspective and you will enjoy life.

negative + negative = positive ( - and - = +)
Say no to the no...... in your perspective and you will enjoy life.

This is allowance of life situations. This is acceptance. This is adaptation. This is the root of happiness.

positive + negative = negative (+ and - = -)
Say yes to the no...... and in life you will feel pain or stress.

negative + positive = negative (- and + = -)
Say no to the yes...... and in life you will feel pain or stress.

From the teachings of Buddha to your nearest psychologist, it is agreed that the key to peace and happiness in life is to be in acceptance and not resistance to what is. Suffering is indeed a state of mind; and if you can change your mind (train your mind), then you can change your life experience.

This logic is true, mathematically, philosophically, and most importantly, it is true to your experience of life.

When I Die

Death is not always the end of our existence here in this physical plane. Death, however, is always the end of a particular identity.

I have had many deaths during this lifetime. Every time I passed through from one chapter in my life to the next, a part of me died. Every time my consciousness shifted from one mode to another, a part of me died. Every time I lost a particular status, a part of me died. Which part of me? The part of my ego that identified with that particular identity.

These deaths, depending on your perspective, can be either painful or joyful experiences. If we are in full acceptance of them, joy is experienced. If we are in resistance to them, pain is experienced.

Once we realize that death is not the end, but only a transformation, all death can be seen with acceptance. Death is the beginning of a new life. When a particular identity comes to an end, we may lose our identification with it, but we also gain the freedom from restriction of that identification.

In other words, when a person loses the identity of being married, they also gain the freedom of being single. When a person loses the identity of being financially well off, they also gain the freedom of not worrying about losing that wealth. Depending on your perspective, you will always be able to see what you have gained as opposed to what you have lost with a death.

Realizing this, I discovered that every time I die, I get a little more heaven. Being grateful for life situation changes allow us to feel good and get the best out of them.

Realizing that the essence of who I really am is not any of the identities that my ego presents allows me to feel larger than any and all identities. Being in tune with this true essence brings great joy and appreciation for life experience.

With the right eyes, loss can be a friend. When I die, I am free. When I die, I experience heaven.

Related posts:

Attachment and Identity

Ever take a good look at what personal attachment really is and what gives it it's power? This is a topic that is mostly overlooked but has a tremendous effect on our everyday lives. It holds one of the keys to happiness or lack there of.

Attachments are, in all reality, thoughts and concepts. They are bonds that we have formed in our minds with people, places, things, and ideologies. We maybe attached to the relationship we have with another person. We maybe attached to our house, our car, our country, our freedom, an idea about the past, an idea about the future, or any number of other things. We may even be attached to the way we feel about ourselves physically. When you really get down to it; these are all constructs existing in our minds alone. If you could wipe clean a person's memory of any particular attachment, the person would be able to be just as happy without it as they were with it. Even if the person had to adapt to a new scenario, the pain and suffering of losing an attachment that they never knew they had, would not exist.

Don't take my word for it. Take look at your own life. Look at what you hold near and dear to your heart. If you do not feel this way about anything in your life, then congratulations! You have no worldly attachments. However, the truth is that this does not describe the vast majority of people alive (myself included).

So how did these attachments get so powerful in our lives? We were not born with any of them. The reason these thoughts and concepts are so powerfully ingrained in us, is because they have literally become part of our identity. They have become part of who we think we are. They have become ego identified meaning they have become absorbed by the ego helping to broaden our ego identity. (See Why So Serious?)

Think about what identity theft is and how it affects the victim. Essentially, the person who has been "robbed" is physically in the same state before and after the crime. What has changed for them is totally psychological. They feel violated because of the breach of trust. The concept of their financial status and security may be diminished. The concept of the well being of their identity has been tarnished. This is to illustrate the difference between our identity (who we think we are) and the true essence of our selves. During the time the person was unaware of the theft, they felt exactly as they had before. It is only the concept of being robbed that causes any pain or stress.

We live our lives addicted to our identities; addicted to attachments. We cause our selves undue and self inflicted stress as a result of seeing life through the perspective of the ego. Learning to live relatively free of attachment is not as hard as it may sound at first. It is more of a matter of becoming self aware. Freedom from stress is the result.

For more on this, read the book, What Is Really Good? and stay tuned!

Home Sweet Home

"Home is where the heart is."

We have all heard this. Appreciating and recognizing the true value of the wisdom in this saying is to have the perspective that allows you to feel at home anywhere you are.

The 'heart' is often used as a synonym for the way a person feels at the core of their being. It goes beyond the calculating mind and refers more to the vibrational level of a person's consciousness. Your heart can be "filled with joy" or you can be "heart broken." You can "give your heart" to someone or you can become "cold hearted". Regardless of what the situation is, your heart determines how you are feeling.

No matter how one feels, or the object of ones feelings, the heart is always 'home'. Once a person realizes that no matter where you go, there you are; they will understand that 'home' is always with you. The only thing that separates the place where you physically live and 'home' is an idea. Most of us have heard the phrase, "Make a house into a home." This saying supports the point exactly. Basically, you are 'home'. 'Home' is composed of your essence.

So how do we make 'home' an enjoyable experience all the time? How do we make it into "Home Sweet Home"? To put it simply, we have to feel it. We have become aware of what we are focused on. We have to account for the state of the heart. Once we can still the mind, let go of ego attachments, and recognize ourselves without the ego identity, what is left is pure and sweet. Home Sweet Home.

Self Appreciation

Self appreciation is a major key to happiness. It is a tremendous part of happiness itself. It can truthfully be said that with out appreciation of your self (your true Self), happiness can not be experienced in any situation.

Referring to the 'Self ' in 'Self Appreciation,' I am referring to the ever present Observer (see 'I' of the Beholder, and The Tape Is Always Rolling). This is the part of you that allows all feelings including happiness, to exist. If not for the space that is the Self, nothing that we feel would have a place to exist. Experience would not have a stage to stand on and walk across. If happiness can not be felt here in the Self, no outside source can supply it. You will not be happy in any "great" situation or set of circumstances unless you are happy with in yourself. Likewise, nothing can get you down if you realize you are the source of happiness.

Referring to 'appreciation', I am referring to the act of being aware of and/or raising the value of something. Appreciation was looked at in a previous post (Life: To Appreciate or Depreciate?) When we appreciate the Self, we become aware of just how precious a gift we truly are.

Self appreciation, self love, self praise, and joy of one's self, are all different ways of describing the same kind of feeling. Celebrating and appreciating the life that you are, is being in a high state of acceptance. Appreciating your self literally raises the value of your life. When you look at it; it raises your value because you are life.

You Can Be Right, Or You Can Be Happy

A long time ago, two brothers who were very close had a big fall out. They were only a year apart and grew up together sharing all kinds of experiences together. The reason for the big falling out was over lifestyle choices when they got older. One just could not tolerate how the other chose to live. As a result, they did not speak for at least 25 years. Fortunately, they were able to put the issue behind them and become close again.

Both brothers missed years of each other’s lives. The one who did not approve of the other's choices actually held a grudge against his brother. He became a sore topic if ever brought up by other family members. He actually became very mad whenever he thought about him.

Have you ever had a difference of opinion with anyone close to you? If so, maybe you can relate. "You can be right or you can be happy," is another old saying of everyday wisdom.

At the end of the day, what determines your life is your experience. Many times being right will not make your experience better; but worse. How valuable is being right in that case? Being right is what the egoic mind is identified with. It actually becomes part of one's identity.

Some people will put being right over their very lives. "I'll die for my chain," or "I'll kill if I'm disrespected." Being right is really not that serious. The ego has poor perspective and makes big deals out of minor things.

Happiness is a mere thought away. Being happy is to be without the egoic mind. It is freedom from an often irrational list of demands for the ego's well being. This list usually always causes resistance to what is and causes unnecessary stress.

The choice is always yours. You can be right or you can be happy.

Read What Is Really Good? and stay tuned!

Money Can't Buy It

There are a lot of rich people who are not happy. Don't take my word for it. You have seen them for yourself. The news or the tabloids are usually always talking about some high profile case or another. This is mentioned to validate one point. Money can't buy happiness.

Of course, this is a very old saying. It has stuck around for so long because of the undeniable truth it represents. In the past; I, myself, have questioned the validity of this saying. I used to think, "If I had all the money I wanted; there is no way I could possibly be unhappy." I later came to realize the ultimate truth behind it though.

This truth goes for more than just money. It goes for everything that you desire in life. It is not what you want that makes you happy when you get it. It is how you feel when you are experiencing it. It really all starts and ends with how you feel.

A man can have nine figures in his bank account and still be bent out of shape about a relationship or some other problem that money does not solve. Another man can be one pay check away from being penniless and feel like he's on top of the world.

This intangible feeling is why they say, "The best things in life are free." Money really can't buy this feeling. It is only accomplished by being in total acceptance of reality. When you can say YES to everything in your present moment; you have no choice but to be happy.

Though money can't buy happiness; happiness might get you paid. Happiness actually attracts money. Take a good look at life and see if you agree.

For more in depth perspective, read What Is Really Good? and stay tuned!

Happiness Is A Mere Thought Away

I have good news for you!

The only difference between you being as happy as you ever possibly could, and how you are right now, is how you are feeling.

Sounds a bit obvious, huh? Well it is common sense. But you know what they say; "Common sense is not common." Most people never give this any thought what-so-ever.

If it were possible for people to feel whatever emotion they wanted for the majority of the time; what do you think most people would choose to be feeling? I guess it's easy to eliminate all the stressful ones like: anger, sadness, bitterness, etc. It would be safe to say people would like to feel peaceful, happy, free, etc.

So is it possible to truly feel how you would want to feel almost whenever you want? Yes. Happiness is a mere thought away. Take away the thought. And focus on right now. The feeling is obtainable. It is always there but is hidden. Once discovered, it only grows.

How you feel has nothing to do with life circumstances. As long as you are not being physically injured; every single moment, the way that you feel is a choice made by you. The problem is that most people do not know how to exercise this choice.

The multi-millionaire with the legal problems might feel worse than the cab driver who lives in the basement apartment. The circumstances are almost irrelevant. It is the perspective that is all important. The way the circumstances are labeled is what dictates how you feel. The cab driver is a thought away from being rich. How he feels right now; he is as wealthy as can be, minus the thought of a huge estate. The multi-millionaire is a thought away from happiness. Although he has all the markings of a rich man; the way he feels right now he might as well be locked up.

A thought or a train of thoughts helps you to feel a certain way if you let it. To be without thought and feel how you feel just observing the present moment is to really allow your self to feel what is as opposed to what you think it is.

Find out what happens when you learn to master thought. Read What Is Really Good? and stay tuned.

"I'm Just Happy To Be Here!"

Have you ever been watching TV or listening to the radio and you hear, "I'm just happy to be here!” from one of your favorite stars or accomplished people. Chances are; you have heard this phrase spoken many times by many people in your life.

Have you ever noticed that it is always people on top of their field that you hear saying this? It is not a coincidence. It is not just something to say that sounds good in an interview. It is not a feeling gained after having gotten to the position they are in. It is actually the feeling that got them there.

When you realize the more adaptive and flexible you are to life situations; the further you will get in anything you set out to do; then it makes perfect sense why these stars and leaders in their fields made it to the level that they did.

'Being happy to be here' brings with it the power to move through obstacles. It is acceptance of what is. It is the ability to be without stress because you remain in the present moment. Stress only exists for you when dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Stress is basically resistance to what is.

Don't take my word for it. Use your own sense of knowing. If somebody is unhappy doing what they have to do while approaching a goal; would they become happy just because they reached their goal? Chances are they would be happy for a brief period and then go back to feeling the way they usually do.

Being happy just to be, is the way to be.

Adapting = Acceptance

A very simple (and yet complicated) way to be happy and eliminate all stress and suffering from life, is to be able to adapt to any and every thing that you come across.

Accepting life in all circumstances and situations eliminates that underlying current of stress that people drag around with them on a day to day basis. When people are not regretting past decisions or past experiences; they do not carry the stress from the past. When people are not anxious about the future; the future is open to infinite possibilities. When people are able to live in the moment as opposed to thinking, "should have, would have, or could have," all the time; the present becomes a gift.

A lot of people don't like the word acceptance. Surrender is one people like even less. Don't get caught up with the words. It is the experience you must become familiar with. When you adapt to anything, you are in full acceptance of it.

To be in full acceptance not only feels great; it is what makes great, successful people great. You will not find an accomplished or successful person around who is not a master of adapting to a situation or circumstance. From your favorite athlete to your most esteemed scientist or doctor; acceptance as adaptation to perceived reality is at the base of their greatness.

'Adapt' is also accurate when you know how primitive the ego is and that the next step in consciousness is literally a step in our evolution. The human ego is as primitive as a primate. It is the human mind that is extremely advanced. Because the ego, all too often, is in control of the mind; it causes the self inflicted stress that most of us suffer from.

Learning to adapt is the key to happiness. Thus the u.r.l. for this blog is 'adapt2whatis.' Once this is mastered, the human mind is no longer dysfunctional. With the ego and it's identification with what is good and what is bad in check; the mind is free from stress and your true identity and potential may be recognized and reached.

More on this in the book What Is Really Good? and this blog.

Stay tuned!

Welcome Everybody

Welcome to What Is Really Good?

What up people? What Is Really Good?! That phrase is used as a greeting in many circles. Beyond that, the title was chosen because it brings to your awareness the process by which we determine if something is good or bad. Don't take my word for it. Ask yourself, "What is good? Really. What does it mean to label something as good or bad?"

This may sound trivial or irrelevant to some at first glance. If given the attention that is needed though, most people will understand that what ever it is in you that determines what is good or bad to you also holds the key to your happiness. If you feel like what's going on in your life right now is good, you are happy. If you feel like what's going on with you right now is bad, you are stressed out in some way.

We will be going into great depth on what it is exactly that sets our standards for what is good and what is bad. I can honestly say from my own experience that you can live a life free from all stress and be at peace and happy all the time.

Stay tuned to this blog for a wealth of wisdom, advice, and many practical ways to make your life a little more like heaven than you knew was possible.

Looking foward to responding to your comments.

-C. Om


ps


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