Be Mine

"Be mine, Valentine."
From these words alone, we can already see the dysfunction in the traditional view of romance.

The concept of possession is an extension of a person's identity. If an object belongs to you, in some way, shape, or form, it is an attachment. It becomes part of the ego identity. This is why all possessions are able to bring pleasure or pain.

Somehow, unconditional love has gotten all confused with attachment and possession. This gives rise to the illusion of a lack of love or feelings that oppose love. Love is our nature. There is no opposite or lack unless we are looking through the warped perception of the ego mind. It is only here that any loved one can be or do anything for us to feel a lack of love for them.

When we say, "Be mine," we are setting up a condition that will result in us feeling bad if it is not met. This condition says if you are mine and you stick to the concept I have in my mind of what it means to be mine, everything is great. But if you are not mine, then I will not love you and because I am still attached to you, I will feel pain. How crazy is that?

When we can let go and just love unconditionally, we are free.

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Gail said...


Ya, I hear ya. We love freely here and in that freedom there is an element of 'belonging', kinda like hotdogs and hamburgers go well together at a barbecue or ice cream fits nicely atop a cone - the beauty and the gift is that we each love and adore the individual uniqueness of one another and are simply thrilled that we "fit". And in that sense we belong together even though separately we have purpose and merit too. Make sense?

Love to you

Rizal Affif said...

Most people nowadays believe that love is not everything.

I guess it's because they have mistaken love as possessiveness; very most people have.

Love this, love you too, C. Om :)

Rachel C Miller said...

Unconditional love a rare concept indeed. What I have seen is that it takes two people to love unconditionally to experience the true magic ...fireworks. But as far as love goes, we can can love all people in away that touches our spirit.

Happy Valentines Day!

Unknown said...

Hello C. Om,

A great post... Yes, attachment is a word I often use to describe man and woman's notions of love. The problem with attachment is that one takes 'ownership' of the other . . be that another person or some other object outside of being. Being is already in the natural state of unconditional love.

You'll notice the word 'condition' within the word unconditional. Real love is free of the normal condition that takes ownership of others through attachment to what it thinks it 'wants'. It wants something to assuage its loss; the conditioned individual has lost its connection with what it really is. What it really is, is unconditional love/beingness.

Romantic love-attachment-ownership is simply a substitute for a greater Truth-Reality-Integrity of being, which is simultaneously unconditional love. It is boundless oneness, unity, wholeness ... actually, words don't do it justice! The beautiful thing is, that once realised, one can experience such love within a relationship.

Thanks for the opportunity to participate here :-)