Attachment and Identity

Ever take a good look at what personal attachment really is and what gives it it's power? This is a topic that is mostly overlooked but has a tremendous effect on our everyday lives. It holds one of the keys to happiness or lack there of.

Attachments are, in all reality, thoughts and concepts. They are bonds that we have formed in our minds with people, places, things, and ideologies. We maybe attached to the relationship we have with another person. We maybe attached to our house, our car, our country, our freedom, an idea about the past, an idea about the future, or any number of other things. We may even be attached to the way we feel about ourselves physically. When you really get down to it; these are all constructs existing in our minds alone. If you could wipe clean a person's memory of any particular attachment, the person would be able to be just as happy without it as they were with it. Even if the person had to adapt to a new scenario, the pain and suffering of losing an attachment that they never knew they had, would not exist.

Don't take my word for it. Take look at your own life. Look at what you hold near and dear to your heart. If you do not feel this way about anything in your life, then congratulations! You have no worldly attachments. However, the truth is that this does not describe the vast majority of people alive (myself included).

So how did these attachments get so powerful in our lives? We were not born with any of them. The reason these thoughts and concepts are so powerfully ingrained in us, is because they have literally become part of our identity. They have become part of who we think we are. They have become ego identified meaning they have become absorbed by the ego helping to broaden our ego identity. (See Why So Serious?)

Think about what identity theft is and how it affects the victim. Essentially, the person who has been "robbed" is physically in the same state before and after the crime. What has changed for them is totally psychological. They feel violated because of the breach of trust. The concept of their financial status and security may be diminished. The concept of the well being of their identity has been tarnished. This is to illustrate the difference between our identity (who we think we are) and the true essence of our selves. During the time the person was unaware of the theft, they felt exactly as they had before. It is only the concept of being robbed that causes any pain or stress.

We live our lives addicted to our identities; addicted to attachments. We cause our selves undue and self inflicted stress as a result of seeing life through the perspective of the ego. Learning to live relatively free of attachment is not as hard as it may sound at first. It is more of a matter of becoming self aware. Freedom from stress is the result.

For more on this, read the book, What Is Really Good? and stay tuned!