The phrase alone doesn't really sound logical. On the other hand, we all know exactly what it means because we know how it
feels to long for, or "need" another person. But does this really mean that the other person 'completes' you? Let's look further into this.
It's a fact that we are all born alone (even if you're a twin or etc.) and we all die alone (even if you die with others). Your journey and experience is yours alone. Knowing this, how can you need anyone else to complete you?
It only appears that it takes another to complete us. In reality, it is always us as an individual, that completes us. To illustrate, when John and Jane met and got to know each other, they formed a great
attachment to each other. They became inseparable. If any significant period of time had to pass without them being together, they would miss each other greatly. But the clues to why they feel this way also provide the answers we're looking for.
John has formed an
idea of a his perfect mate. He had this idea long before he met Jane. Jane so happens to fit John's idea in almost every way. John's idea of Jane is
his alone and only affects
his experience of her. Even when John is physically with Jane, John only ever experiences his own impressions of her. He only experiences
his interpretation of who she is, how she looks, and how she acts. So in reality, it is John's idea of how his mate should be that he is attached to. It's not Jane, herself, but the idea that John has of Jane. The exact same thing goes for Jane and how she feels about John.
People have convinced themselves that it is "other people" who make them feel the way they do. In reality, no one can "make" you feel anything. It is the ideas that you hold so close that truly affect your mood. If John should suddenly drastically change in behavior or looks and deviate from Jane's idea of what her perfect mate is, Jane would not hold him in the same regard. While the attachment might remain for a while, she would be stressed out or heart broken. Only after the attachment is severed would she feel relief from this stress. She would feel indifferent about John because she reclaims the idea of her ideal mate. Once reclaimed, she's once again ready to bestow it on someone else.
Realizing that it is only our own ideas that complete us, we can see that we really only use others to bring these ideas into the physical world. By concentrating on your ideal mate and feeling the abundance of their company (even if they don't physically exist right now) you can be just as happy and fulfilled as if they were walking beside you. In contrast, you could be in a relationship with your ideal mate right now, but if you are not appreciating them or are only feeling a lack of what you want, you will not be happy with them.
When you really think about it, you always have your perfect mate with you. Your perfect mate is an idea that you created and if you give it the proper attention, you can feel the abundance of this presence at anytime. Not only can you feel better by appreciating this fact, but it actually helps to physically attract a person of this nature to you.
Happiness starts and ends with you. Once you can be happy with yourself, you have an unlimited supply to share with others. A relationship works out so much easier when you have two whole people complementing each other, rather than two needy souls looking for validation from each other.
Related posts:
Light doesn't actually reach the part of your brain where vision is created and experienced. The light that you are seeing right NOW is actually coming from you. This isn't simply a deep sounding philosophy. It's science.
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