Ever had thoughts of wanting to wipe the slate clean and totally start over? I have. I never went as far as planning a way to do myself in, but if I were a video game, I would have wanted to hit the reset button.I'm sure I can speak for anyone who has ever wanted to kill themselves, or at least had thoughts of erasing everything and starting fresh. This way of feeling and thinking is always brought on by a tremendous amount of stress (be it mental or physical).
The times I felt like this were years ago at this point, but I can easily remember what I was upset about and trying to avoid. I don't regret going through this depression stage because it played a role in bringing about an awakening within me. Since my shift in consciousness, I can see how and why this is a feeling more common to a whole lot of people than you may be lead to believe.
At the root of this urge to purge oneself of "life," lies a major paradox. You are life itself and will never die. You can move on past this physical world but will still live. So how can you "kill" yourself? You can't. You are only trying to kill your current situation.
Think about it. Who really wants to die? The ego. The identity you have adopted as yourself is in a huge amount of stress. Once separated from the identity, relief is experienced. Who wants relief from the identity? You do. The real you.
It really is like there are two people there. The phrase, "I hate myself," implies a 'hater' and a 'hatee', so to speak. To be unhappy with yourself/life situation is to be a house divided against itself. The solution is to become whole again. But how?
You can die while still living and gain even more life in the process! Sounds like another paradox, but it's true. Allowing yourself to become more aware of the part of you that is the eternal observer, will bring balance to your perspective. There is the part of you that cares so much about the stressful situations (ego identity) and there's the part of you that is good either way and just observes. Allowing yourself to simply, objectively, observe your ego identity and it's drama, you will watch that part of you die. It will start to seem less and less important and less of who you are. It will lose all power and you will regain it.
Killing your body is a waste of time. You will continue on and have to overcome the same tests that drove you to it in the first place. Killing the attachments that cause you stress will achieve all the relief you desire plus so much more! Meditate on theses words and suicide will never seem logical again.
Related posts:
Posts
