Awakening Relapse

After awakening from the control of the ego mind and feeling the freedom of tranquil vitality that is our true nature, a person can assume that there is no going back under the spell of the ego. I, myself, believed this to be true. I was not happy to find out I was mistaken.

On the other hand, I am truly grateful for the experience of a relapse back into the murky depths of the primitive ego mind. Even in the rage of a lost temper, I realized that I was being possessed by my 'lower self.' I could still look at my behavior objectively. I could still see myself from the vantage point of the Observer.

One of the reasons I am grateful for this experience is that a mood like that would have stayed with me a lot longer previous to my awakening shift. I also would have been completely enveloped in it as opposed to seeing it for what it really was; resistance to what is, simply running it's course. Shining the light of consciousness on any resistance to life situations weakens and transforms the resistance. What is left is acceptance and adaptation to the situation.

When we realize that unlearning a lifetime of behavior patterns through being aware and conscious of our higher Self happens extremely quickly, a relapse is not really a big deal. It can actually be more of a re-affirmation of what we know to be true and a chance to study the ego with more experienced eyes. It also helps to insure that a relapse of that nature will never happen again because whatever triggered it has been fully accepted and made peace with.

They say, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and I agree. Every step is a step forward, even if it seems like a slip up. The evolution of consciousness is always in action.

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3 comments:

Buddha said...

The path to enlightenment it is neither straight nor easy.
It goes up and it goes down.
Some time we progress in leaps some times it feels like we are stuck.
If it was easy we all would be Buddhas!
Do not worry about your setbacks!
Whenever I have a setback I say to myself "Hey, at least it is not boring!"
Be Loved!

Anne Partain said...

Thank you C. Om for your words, they help me. Anne

Walt said...

Yeah, I've shared with you when times like this have came about. I see now that they existed to make the other moments shine even brighter, now.